Beer For My Horses

I'm in Utah right now spending some time with my Dad. It was freezing outside last night and there wasn't much else to do other than watch rented DVDs. So my Dad picked up this gem last night. I thought he was joking at first...I didn't even know Toby Keith made movies. Apparently it was a made-for-TV CMT flick just making its cursed path to DVD. So how could a movie with Toby Keith, Ted Nugent, Tom Skerritt, Gina Gershon, Willie Nelson, and David Allan Coe be bad? In fact, with the exception of Toby Keith, that's a top notch cast any director would be proud of. But my hopes were immediately crushed when I saw Toby Keith was also responsible for this dreadful story and script. It basically plays like a bad episode of Walker Texas Ranger that also serves as a commercial for Ford trucks. A Mexican drug lord kidnaps Toby's girl (played by the once it-girl Claire Forlani) so he gets together his wacky posses for a road trip across the border. As you can imagine, madcap hi jinks ensue complete with Willie Nelson pulling up in an old truck with smoke pouring out the windows. Everybody knows Willie's a pothead. Get it? Isn't that hilarious? While it's supposed to be a comedy, most of the jokes and sight gags are on autopilot, much like the entire script. I found the fim to be rather depressing considering it was marketed to a segment of the American population who probably ate it up and are impatiently awaiting seconds.